So, It's Been FOREVER

Um, my bad.

So, things have been crazy busy lately. Like...insanely busy. I'm on break from school though for the holidays and the Spring semester doesn't start again until February 13th. Praise The Doctor.

Things have been going...fine, I guess. Not bad, not excellent, just fine. I am back to teaching at one studio. The management at the "new" studio was interesting. The owner was sweet as pie but her assistant, the artistic director, or whatever her title was, didn't seem to like me and I'm really unsure as of why. It wasn't a good fit. I didn't have many students there, and I liked the "kids" I taught, but the Artistic Director (AD) wasn't happy about my moving one girl up to pointe even though she was beyond ready. Apparently, the old teacher told the Pre-Pointe class that she would move them all up at the same time and I don't understand why. One girl was around 12 and definitely wasn't ready. She was getting there but I'd have had her in Pre-Pointe another season or so, probably. One girl was 18 and the AD didn't seem to like her at all. The girl was very sweet and had incredible technique. I did all of the usual tests (pencil test, strength, core test in center, etc) and she passed all of them. Apparently, she was told she wasn't flexible enough by her old teacher. This kid was pretty flexible, though not as flexible as the other girls there. I don't see why that should be a reason to hold her back. Anyways, it was a bummer, but I wasn't really at easy there and felt like AD was just pissy about me moving the 18 year old up, even though the owner was totally fine with my decisions and supportive. I had gathered that AD was a big donor to the studio and cares more about competition and I care more about good technique than competition. As I said, it was a bummer but not a good fit for me anyways. I'm much more at ease at the studio I've now been at for almost 3 years.

So! Things have been going alright in the college dance world for me. I've had decent parts. Not always the parts I want, but that's because of my weight solely and that sucks. I get the villain parts because of it (and Teacher N has basically made it clear that's what is holding me back).

I've started really buckling down again on working on it. I started a bullet journal for 2017 and it's really helped with my tracking progress with everything, as I can tailor it however I like. What made me gain weight in the first place was my depression and eating disorder. I've gotten a little better but not as good as I'd like. It's just not my way to wake up, eat, and eat little bits every few hours or so. I'm more of a not-eat-all-day-then-eat-and-throw-up person. I have gotten better with not throwing up for years now but it's still hard to not just wait til I get home at night to finally eat. I make myself so that I can dance though, but it's not enough, so my body is storing fat. I'm working on it.

I had some fun dances at the college. Didn't have any pointe in the Spring show but did again in the Fall one. I had to get my pointe back up where it was before and I'm still working on it. Not where I want to be but that's life. ha. My favorite number from the fall semester was a piece about suicide. The song was For My Help and the number was amazing. My spots in Teacher L's class are getting better. I was in the second row for that number and I was thrilled because it was my absolute favotite and one of my favorite dances ever. I do well with emotional and even more so when I can connect so much. I put my everything into that number. It was just incredible.  I was also in the second row for her jazz number and it was one of my favorite jazz numbers ever too. The song was Telephone by Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce. Music for jazz tends to be shallow pop but the number was just fun. I had a front and center spot in her modern piece so that was awesome. I was in the non-partner section but sometimes I really don't mind being a partner if I'm in the front. I felt I did well with that number. I'm really feeling myself with most genre these days. I just love dancing.

As for the studio, everything is going fine there too. I would say it's fantastic if we could get class numbers up. It's not in the best area and get flaky parents too often. We had to have our show at a college the studio owner goes to and it was around an hour away so I lost students due to that. That caused me to have TWO WHOLE NUMBERS I had to pull from the show because parents didn't want to make the drive and pulled their kids out, which was devastating. One feel-good thing for me is that the studio owner (SO) and I get along well and she knows I know my technique and likes my choreography so she has been taking my classes. I'll be honest--I have a lot more training than she does. Her father had the money to buy a studio that was going to be turned into a furniture store. She had only taken Ballet Folklorico before this. She is really good with the little ones though, and I honestly don't love teaching babies. So I'm super psyched that she is taking my classes because it gives me more people to teach and it helps her as well. She hasn't had much technique and if she looks better, the studio benefits. She really is a sweet person though and is getting much better at being the owner. I'm proud of her. :)

SO performed in my Ballet 5 number in our winter show and did pretty well. I need to work on ballones with her but other than those, she really did well. I had three students in the number. One was male and is excellent at Dance Improv so I ended up getting him a job teaching it there. I also had this fresh face that started in the fall. She is 18, and super energetic/bouncy. She is my spirit animal. haha. And then SO made three. I used music by the Transylvanian Orchestra and it really fell together nicely. It was difficult but they did really well with it. :D

Lastly, my stepdaughter (5) is now taking jazz and tumbling. She had had around a year and a half of ballet and tap but was leveled up into the next age group this fall, around the time she started kindergarten. Every other kid in ballet was also on the competition team and the class was much harder and she wanted to try tumbling, so she was switched into jazz and tumbling. Well, I'm happy to say that that little one is really maturing lately, and with that, has also really expressed missing ballet. So me and her dad added ballet back into her schedule. So now on Wednesdays, she has 30 minutes of ballet at 4, a half hour break, and then 30 minutes of jazz followed by 30 minutes of tumbling. The break is needed and gives her time to chill before going back in. It works out nicely and she is doing really well! I give her little tips with encouragement and then she tries so hard and gives me a thumbs-up through the window. It's really adorable. I just love her.

Well, that was long as hell, so I'm calling this done right here. I hope everyone is well. I want to do a blog with 2017 goals so stay tuned for that, if anyone even reads this. haha.

-Bearika Ballerina